For Women Only, But I Like It Too

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When my wife brought home a copy of For Women Only from the book store, I was instantly intrigued. The exclusive title grabbed my attention. You know the way that you feel sometimes when you see a “No Trespassing” sign, and you get the urge to sneak beyond it and explore, just to see what you’re missing? I felt just like that.

Then I read the subtitle: “What you need to know about the inner lives of men.”

“Seriously?” I thought, “I’m not even sure that I understand the inner lives of men, and I am one. How did she manage to figure that out?”

In fact, it was almost by accident. Author Shaunti Feldhahn was conducting some research for her second novel, The Lights of Tenth Street. She wanted to accurately reflect the thought life of her male characters in her writing, so she started interviewing men. What she discovered in her interviews surprised her.

She found that the men she interviewed shared common inner secrets that they wished the women in their lives knew, but they couldn’t quite figure out how to explain to them. Eventually, through surveys and interviews with over 1,000 men, she identified seven revelations about men and how they are wired. She shares them through this book so women can better understand the men in their lives.

Of course, I had to read the book to see if her revelations were right.

And frankly, I was blown away. I don’t usually make noise while I’m reading, but throughout the book I found myself nodding and saying an emphatic, “Oh, yeah!” or whispering, “Wow!” or standing up and yelling, “Yes, YES!!”

Because, although this book was written to help women better understand the men in their lives, it really is not for women only.

Because – and I’m talking to the men here – a lot of us will be surprised to read these revelations and realize that they are struggles that most of us share. As much as we sometimes may feel like we’re the only one with these struggles, we are not alone. To summarize the seven revelations:

• “Men would rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected.”
• “Despite their ‘in control’ exterior, men often feel like impostors and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.”
• “Even if you made enough income to support your family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden your husband feels to provide.”
• “Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life.”
• “Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women.”
• “Men enjoy and want romance but sometimes find different things romantic or are conflicted over their poor romance skills.”
• “He doesn’t need you to be a size 3, but he does need you to make the effort to take care of yourself for him – and he’ll willingly help you.”

Feldhahn reveals these insights with tact and humor, and from a Christian perspective. I recommend this book both for ladies and for men. And men, while you are picking up a copy of For Women Only, be sure to grab a copy ofFor Men Only, also written by Shaunti Feldhahn along with her husband Jeff. You are sure to learn some interesting things about the women in your life!

Ladies – which of the above revelations are surprising to you?

Men – which of the above revelations resonate with you?

Disclosure of Material Connection: My wife and I purchased our own copies of For Women Only and For Men Only. The product links in the post above are “affiliate links.” If you follow the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”