Love Your Wife in 4 Easy Steps

So you meet the woman of your dreams and you two fall in love.  She’s the one.  You date for a few months and decide to tie the knot.  Life is going great.  You finally have somebody that you can share your life with.

You get to share your love, hugs, kisses, and bed with this lady.

You also get to share your free time.  No longer is it your free time because those days are behind you.  Doesn’t matter though because your are so in love.

If you are a spiritually tough husband then you will be kind and of gentle heart to your wife.  You will take the extra step to be her friend.  But if you are like me then you are going to run into problems.

Selfish Monster

I have been married for almost 6 years.  For the most part I believe my marriage is good but to be honest it has room for improvement.  I am an introvert, so this means I enjoy ME time.  When I am around people for too long I like to get away and recuperate.  Sometimes this means getting away from my wife for a while.  Sometimes a while is stretched too long.  Just in case you thought extroverts were off the hook, you’re wrong.  Extroverts can end up spending more time with somebody other than their spouse.

How To Be Her Friend

Trust me when I say that your wife will sense a loss in friendship before you do.  One day while you are doing whatever it is you do, she will say and what seems out of the blue, “I don’t feel like we are friends.”  You will probably think she is crazy but she’s right.  Here are 4 steps on how to be her friend,

1. Discover Her Love Language

My love language is physical touch (yeah, I bet you didn’t want to read that).  If my wife neglects hugs and kisses I start to feel sad.  Why would she neglect hugs and kisses?  Because her love language is not the same as mine.  Her love language is fulfilled when I do things for her.  When I clean the laundry, this is the equivalent to her giving me a hug.  To find out your love language take the Love Language Test and read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

2. Turn Off The Computer

If you turn off the computer you may very well turn on your wife.  Social media is a great way to stay connected with friends and family, unless of course you are losing touch with your most valued friend.  Make a rule for yourself and turn off the computer at a certain set time in the day and spend your extra free-time with her.

3. Surprise Her With Flowers

Even if your woman is the type to say “don’t buy me flowers because we can’t afford it” don’t listen to her, buy her flowers any way.  A single rose from a flower shop will cost you the same as a regular coffee from Starbucks.

4. Date Your Wife

If you want you to remain friends with your wife you need to treat her like you did when you first were becoming friends.  Once a week or no less than twice a month take her on a date.

Those are my 4 steps on how to love your wife better.

I would love to hear what has worked for you.  Also if you are a lady and you have some helpful tips feel free to share in the comments.

David is a missionary to Germany. He serves at the Christusgemeinde and his main focus is follow-up work with the Let's Start Talking ministry.

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