Real Men Don’t Cry
[This is a part of the 7 Lies Christians Believe Series. Have you read the other posts?]
I Laugh at My Wife
I laugh at my wife. There I’ve said it. Why would I do this? Because she cries at television shows. I mean how silly, right? I was thinking about why I laugh at her just today.
I laugh because I don’t understand what triggers her crying. So what if somebody’s fiancé dies in some sappy love story. My wife cares. Do you want to know the real reason I don’t understand why she cries? It’s because Hollywood did not market toward my emotions when they produced the love story.
I Hold Back Tears
I’m a hypocrite! I do cry at movies. Cinderella Man gets me every time. James J. Braddock is an up-and-coming heavyweight boxer who loses everything but his wife and 3 children during the Great Depression.
During the Depression James is not making as much money as he once did. He had broke his right hand several times and in one fight he breaks it again and get’s his boxing license revoked.
After a lot of time has passed his manager, Joe Gould, drops by one day and informs him that he got him a fight. Russel Crow, who plays Broddock, sells the part well. He has the emotion of relief and happiness written all over his face.
Every single time I witness this scene I have to hold back the tears. I don’t have a bunch of children that I am trying to feed but I still experience, at least in part, the same emotion that Broddock is experiencing.
Jesus Wept
When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.“Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
Jesus wept.
John 11:32-35
I think that if our leader can cry so can we!
When Not to Cry
- When watching Cinderella Man with other men.
- When your team loses the Super Bowl.
- When you lose at a video game.
- When leading a funeral.
- When preaching a sermon just to get an emotional response from the audience.
When to Cry
- When your child is born.
- When you marry your wife.
- When a close friend dies.
- When your town get’s blown away by a tornado (natural disaster).
- When…
It’s okay for men to cry. In the comments please leave your thoughts on this article and/or give a time when it is okay for men to cry.
Nice read.
Thank you.
I was on board with everything up until, in the section where it says, “When Not to Cry”, it says “When leading a funeral.” I think, by and large, you’re right. You need to be in control, a little bit, of your emotions during emotional situations. You need to be able to be strong for the grieving family. And you also need to be able to convey the ever important message that death is not the end. But, there are instances where it might be appropriate to cry during a funeral. Maybe not necessarily during you’re speaking parts. But, for example, to grieve with a family who has lost a young child, and to allow space for that may not be a bad thing.
It’s okay not to be on board with everything I say. I actually welcome it.
With that said I agree with what you are saying. If somebody loses a young child I do think one should grieve with the family.
It may not be crying with them. The pastor’s presence will probably be enough. The silence/presence of the pastor will mean more to that grieving family than any words we can say or tears we can cry (or may want to cry).
Nothing really needs to be said to them. What could one say to console them anyhow. Presence, I believe, is enough.
By not crying at the funeral we will help move the funeral along in a natural progression. If the pastor is sobbing I don’t think that can happen.
Again, it’s okay not to agree on this point.
Thanks Stuart for your comment. They are always very much appreciated!
I do believe that all men cry at some point. Crying doesn’t mean necessary a weakness.